The Australian Chronicles

The Australian Chronicles

By Mary Ann Kerzel

Getting There

We began our trip to Australia on July 4, 1999 with a limo ride to MIA. It was a really long trip, about 30 hours. I was wondering if we were ever going to get there. The flight from Miami to LA was great (how were we to know that our airline was smuggling drugs and weapons!), LAX was not!!!!

The most customer friendly airline I’ve ever had the pleasure to deal with was Air New Zealand. Nothing was a problem. They couldn’t figure out how the luggage guys in MIA didn’t know how to get our luggage from the American Airlines terminal into Air New Zealand’s hands. Instead we had to pick up our luggage off the carousel and lug it five terminals away to the Air New Zealand terminal. By this time our luggage was now baggage and we were worn out. The people at Air New Zealand inspired confidence immediately. The guy at MIA was also very impressive; “dumb twit” comes to mind.

So breathless with exhaustion we checked our bags and headed for the gate. It was nice, for once, not to have to go to the end of the entire airport to get to our gate.

Finally time to board! We had exchanged money earlier upon arrival to LAX so we didn’t have to worry about currency. Wow, this airplane was a big one! It had a second floor.

Well, it may have been big, but not roomy. They told us there was no one in seat B, the center seat. So we were surprised to find a young man sitting in the window seat. You know what it’s like being right up against the person next to you and both of you are fighting over the armrest. Being nice to the stranger David leaned toward me and I leaned toward the aisle. It was like making a right hand turn on a motorcycle for 13 hours!

I was sticking out in the aisle and getting elbowed in the head by everyone who passed. You can understand why I didn’t sleep at all.

There were people who were lucky enough to have an empty seat next to them and stretched out and slept. Other people had their black sleeping masks on. They’ve done this before. They turned the cabin lights out and we made the whole trip in darkness.

We got to see at least 4 movies and prerecorded TV shows (both American and English) and several specials.

Breakfast time – still dark at 5AM New Zealand time. Scrambled eggs, grilled tomato, yogurt, granola and tea. Now everything in New Zealand and Australia has no preservatives, no salt, no cane sugar, and low fat. As you would expect they left out flavor too! It must be all the chemicals that give American food flavor.

Scrambled eggs – okay. Grilled tomato – not bad (David loved it). Yogurt with fruit - I’m not sure if I was supposed to spoon it or drink it. It was not thick and creamy like Bryers’ but like pinkish milk with lumps in it. Let’s check out the granola. Yep, grains and seeds all right but where’s the honey that holds it all together in little wads like Quaker’s!

Now David just looked at the granola and yogurt but I decided to be adventurous. I poured my yogurt over my granola and ate it like cold cereal.

Like the English, New Zealanders and Australians take milk with their tea. They look at you strangely when they offer you milk for your tea and you decline. Black coffee is acceptable but straight tea is considered just strange.

“We’re landing! We’re landing!”

“ Are we there yet?”

“No!” It’s just Auckland, New Zealand, a small airport on the northern island of New Zealand where we find our next flight. “Will this trip ever end!!” Still in darkness we board another plane. But everyone is so nice.

Up in the air again, a quick drink and it’s time for breakfast, again! Scrambled eggs and grilled tomato, you know the drill. I didn’t feel like any more yogurt and granola. As we found out later, both countries love to serve grilled tomatoes with lots of meals but especially breakfast.

Four more hours and another time zone and the sun is finally coming up. After about 19 hours of night, about 15 time zones and the International Date Line, I thought it would never get light.

So, we left MIA Sunday afternoon and arrived in Melbourne, Australia Tuesday morning. Now on the return trip to Florida, we left Melbourne Monday morning, arrived in LA before we left Melbourne and arrived home Tuesday morning. Figure that out!

On our return trip the steward had us pull our shades down because “it would be getting light soon”. It never did and I kept checking! I have come to the conclusion that you can’t fly over the Pacific Ocean in the daylight!

We were so happy to finally be in Melbourne and on the ground. But the adventure was only about to start.